Kaden Drew
April 1, 2067
Local Thiel student Will Stines has chosen to drop his Communications Media degree entirely in pursuit of a barber’s license. Stines was first introduced to the world of cutting hair at a young age when “a lovely toupe blew my way and I decided, this could not stay!”
Stines was then asked about his more indepth plans for the future of his barber career. Stines claimed his passion will carry him to wherever he needs to go. When asked about where he would obtain his barber’s license he responded “My specific plans for barber school are pending, wait I need a license?”
After Stines had his experience with the toupe, he learned that it wished to graduate from Thiel with a Communications Media degree. Steins agreed to switch places with the toupe, transferring all his credits to the hair piece. As of now, the toupe is on track to graduate in May of this year assuming it can attend classes although experts have concerns on a toupe’s movement capabilities as an inanimate object.
When further pressed, Stines explained that he had a passion for hair when he “first realised that hair could fall off the human body”. It is unclear at this time if this statement was intended as a joke, Stines refused to clarify. Stines also said his more recent passion and career derailment comes from his love of Bob Ross, more specifically his hair, “Everyone should have an afro like him”.
During the interview, Stines expressed a concerning amount of joy over cutting hair for specifically “tall people”. Stines continued by explaining that it would present a unique challenge that could help “make me taller by stretching so much to reach the tops of their heads”. Stines then began incoherently rambling about something regarding star wars and darth vader’s bald head which he seemed very aggravated about before storming out of the interview.
Stines seems to have a very promising career ahead of him assuming he can get past his star wars demons. His current plans will surely lead him in the right direction and his friends, family and ex peers are surely proud (and slightly concerned) of his career pivot. We at the Thielensian wish Will Stines the best of luck on his new career path!
